As we move into adulthood, a lot of us become realists rather than optimists. We tend to view things factually; this often welcomes a negative outlook. With the current state of affairs, it’s hard to find the positive, and we can easily get stuck in the “woe is me” rhetoric. Yes, the news might be depressing, and maybe you’re feeling more lonely. However, there are ways that you can bring more positivity into your life so that they become second nature.
Surround Yourself With Optimism
We all know the famous phrase “misery loves company”, and the same can be said for the infectious nature of positive people. Seek out the people who make you feel good, are supportive and friendly. There’s nothing worse than Gossip Goblin or a Negative Nelly to bring you down.
Studies also show that being around negative people (or situations) affects your wellbeing. Negativity, quite literally, sucks the life and joy out of you. Canadian Neuropsychologist Donald Hebb famously said “neurons which fire together, wire together”, describing the phenomenon that every thought, feeling or experience forms a neural network, and is strengthened when repeated. Therefore, the loop of negativity becomes stronger when triggered by negative people, such as those who complain, vent, or act like the victim. In turn, you feel more incentivized to act and behave negatively.
However, this can also be true when applied to its antithesis; being around positive people uplifts you, creating new brain patterns. For example, when you share an idea with someone, you feel great when it’s supported, right? This is because it releases dopamine signified with a pleasurable reward. You can also stimulate this reaction by complimenting each others’ work or achievements. However, when you disagree with people (like feeling jealous or argumentative), the brain sees it as a threat, triggering feelings of pain.
Bear in mind that this is not to be confused with toxic positivity — where your feelings are belittled, or when optimism becomes sickeningly annoying. Positive people or environments are those where you feel safe and exude good energy.
Express Gratitude
The easiest way to bring increased positivity is by being grateful for what you have. Negativity creates tunnel vision, and we lose sight of what’s truly important. I’m sure this wasn’t the year you expected; perhaps you’re upset that you couldn’t travel or have a birthday party. However, we should appreciate the good things in life — you don’t have to search far.
Positive Psychologists agree that writing down 3 things you are grateful for each night (for at least 2 weeks) will lift your mood and boost feelings of happiness. Over time this becomes a habit, and you’ll find yourself more attune with positivity.
Perform Acts of Kindness
Another simple and easy tip is to be more giving. It’s true that good deeds also make you feel positive and boost your mood. For instance, offering to make someone else a cup of tea or buying a homeless person some food. These acts trigger the release of happy chemicals like serotonin and dopamine, which Psychologist Linden refers to as the “helper’s high”. Being kind really isn’t difficult, and it often comes naturally.
Sometimes we can be wrapped up in our own lives that we forget other people are also struggling or need a boost. Putting in a little extra effort to make someone smile could be the best part of their day! You don’t have to be Mother Theresa, just be a little less selfish and a little more selfless.
Be Present
Many try and welcome positivity by actually being present, which can be achieved through just 10 minutes of mindfulness or meditation. This helps you to be more grounded, and less distracted by negative thoughts or ruminating over the past. Both of which are thinking styles that contribute to depression and low mood.
It can also be facilitated even more simply, by commenting on the positive stimuli around you. Next time a negative thought comes into your head, comment instead on maybe how pretty the tree outside looks or how calming it is to hear the rain pitter-patter outside. Being cynical leaves you feeling trapped, but you can always point out something positive.
Being present also encourages you to feel less anxious and stressed. It encourages you to focus on what you can control, and let go of what you can’t.
Watch What You Read
It might be time to start setting limits on the media you’re digesting. Whether this is the news, scrolling on social media or watching gloom-ridden videos — it begins to take its toll on you. Many of us compare our social lives to someone’s highlight reel on Instagram, or our feeds are saturated with negative press. This starts to increase negative feelings like low self-worth, dissatisfaction or anxiety.
Consider a digital detox in the same way you would try to clean up your health regime. Most phones now have an option in settings to set a screen-time limit, reminding you about how much time you’re spending on mediums and nudging you to stop.
Look Towards Self-Improvement
Sometimes you have to change yourself in order to find positivity. It could be that your own cynicism has got the better of you, so it’s worthwhile to un-do this trait. This can be done simply by taking up a new hobby or skill, a new self-care routine or challenging your thinking and reactions.
Putting time and effort into self-improvement is usually the best medicine to boost positivity. It helps you to find purpose, learn from mistakes and give you more clarity. All of which increase your positive wellbeing.
In summary…
We already have access to resources that welcome positivity. Sometimes it’s about introducing small lifestyle changes that have the biggest effect. These tips should steer you towards finding happiness in life and getting rid of what doesn’t serve you.
Written by Naida Allen
Naida is a Criminology and Psychology graduate who is passionate about promoting positive mental health and wellbeing. She is a creative writer/blogger and runs an online platform with a close friend called ‘Confidently Anxious’ — which aims to help others struggling with their mental health by sharing personal stories and coping tips. She currently volunteers as a Peer Mentor for young persons.
