According to the Collins English Dictionary, “influence is the power to make other people agree with your opinions or do what you want.”
Have you ever bought a product because the salesperson convinced you? The psychology of influence says that most of us have been influenced, at some point, to do something other people wanted us to do — even if we don’t feel like.
If you know anything about marketing, you’ll know that there’s a knack to persuading others. — Businesses have been using techniques to influence us for decades. But it’s not just businesses that influence us.
Has a friend ever persuaded you to go out or try something new?
Your friends, families and coworkers…
Each year, more and more books about achieving goals and using influence to become successful get published. In this article, we’ll talk about how influence can affect us and how to influence people in a positive manner.
The power of influence
According to Psychology Today, “the closer personally and physically others are to us, the greater our influence over them, and vice versa”. More interestingly, our daily decisions are mostly done by our subconscious mind. 95% of actions, thoughts, behaviours and habits are run by the subconscious mind, whereas conscious mind only controls around 5%.
“What does this mean?” you might ask.
It means that we’re constantly exerting influence on others just by saying what we think and doing what we do. In other words, we can influence others just by being who we are!
The neuroscientist Dr Joe Dispenza said that “95% of who we are by the time we’re 35 years old, is a memorised set of behaviours, emotional reactions, unconscious habits, hardwired attitudes, beliefs and perceptions that function like a computer program.”
The environment we live in (including the people around us) influences the way we act, think and feel — without us even knowing.
The positive influencer
When I started my research to write this article, I mostly found articles on subjects like “How to influence people at work” or “10 tactics to influence people and sell more”.
Unfortunately, I haven’t found anything about influencing people in a positive way outside of work. Since we all have influence and are influenced by others daily, why not use this to create positive changes?
Emotions, actions and words can spread as fast as a virus. So a little positivity goes a long way. “Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing,” said Albert Schweitzer
Would you like to create value in your life and for others? Lead by example. Nothing can encourage us like someone else’s good example.
If we start to see the bright side of things, take action instead of complaining, act and think more positively, we may make a difference not only in other people’s lives — but in our lives too.
Energy is everything
Have you ever felt a little off or drained around certain people? Or have you ever felt more energised better when you were with someone in a good mood?
Most of us don’t consciously notice it, but we exchange energy with others around us.
According to modern quantum physicists, everything is made of energy — your phone, a glass of water, the kitchen table, your sofa — and our bodies are no exception.
The human body consists of five layers of energy. These so-called energy bodies compose our energy field — these layers are where our mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional characteristics are stored.
Energy flows and moves between objects and people. What differentiates one object or body from the other is the energy field. The existence of energy fields is recognised not only by science but also by religions and other philosophical systems: in the Taoism, it’s called chi, in Hinduism, it’s prana, ruach in Hebrew.
You are what you think
“You become what you think about, most of the time”, said Earl Nightingale. If you want to change the outside, you must first change the inside. Thoughts influence the way we feel, the way you feel influences the way you behave and in turn, your behaviours influence the way you experience life.
Thoughts are the origin of everything — “in the beginning was the word” — begins the gospel of John, in the Bible. This phrase has various interpretations, but simply we can use it to understand that thought leads to creation.
It’s important to become aware of our thoughts and engage with positive, uplifting and empowering ones.
Over the next few minutes, try observing the thoughts that pop up in your mind. Ask yourself:
- Where did this thought come from?
- Why did you think that?
Thoughts are the source of everything — but we are not our thoughts, said Eckhart Tolle — therefore, we shouldn’t identify with them. When we do that, we strengthen the beliefs we have about ourselves and others. Especially the limiting beliefs.
We are not the thinkers of our thoughts; we are merely their observers. And as observers, we’re the ones who supply the power to the mind, not the other way around. We can watch a thought passing by just like a cloud passing in the sky. Don’t try to control your thoughts because you won’t be able to do that.
So, if you decide to ignore a thought, it has no power to exist so that it will disappear. Remember that thoughts become your beliefs, and they go on to define how you experience your life.
As the writer Omar Itani once said “Our thoughts create our experiences, and thus, we experience what we think. The quality of our thoughts creates the quality of our life.”
Written by Camila Santiago
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