DIY Therapy: 3 Steps Towards Understanding Yourself and What You Need
We all experience moments in life where time seems to stop long enough for us to realise that some things need to change. A moment that reveals how you are not ok and there could be a better way forward.
This is completely normal. When things feel broken, our instinct tells us to either cover them up or fix them. The truth is that even when you feel weak, you are still whole; you are a unique individual who doesn’t need fixing. Instead, there is a need to adjust your focus in life, changing the way you see yourself and understand your needs.
Seeking help through professional therapists and counsellors has so many advantages, as professionals with no bias can offer you a clear, healthy perspective. However, it can be daunting to approach professionals when you are feeling vulnerable and uncertain.
Here are three steps that you can take to understand yourself better and what you need to feel good. Think of this as ‘Do It Yourself’ therapy…
- Search for patterns
When we feel low about ourselves and the events in our lives, there are often recurring themes that trigger negative emotions and stress. You might think of general themes such as stress or loneliness, but try to dig a little deeper.
If you feel low when situations feel stressful, what would reduce that stress for you? The triggers could be other people rushing you, having too many unanswered questions, insecurities about your abilities or maybe you don’t feel comfortable in the space where you work?
There are so many factors to consider, but the point of therapy is not to solve the clues for you. It is designed like a mirror, reflecting the story back to you in a new way so that you have more control over where it is going.
To help you spot a few patterns, try writing down a few moments in the past that have troubled you. Think about how you were feeling and what could have improved your mood in that situation. Although we cannot change the past, imagining alternative scenarios can help us take steps towards moments in the future that increase our happiness.
- Do some weeding
I have attended counselling sessions in the past when things have been tough, and the image that has stuck with me the most was a garden. Someone told me to imagine myself as a garden, a beautiful garden filled with flowers and trees. They said that sometimes we plant things ourselves in the garden, but there are some weeds that have been planted by others and left to thrive.
Sometimes we do not realise that something negative is growing inside us, so when we finally take notice it can take a long time to weed it out. It is time to do some weeding.
Go somewhere quiet and safe to let yourself open up. Think about how you see yourself, perhaps something you always tried to avoid, and ask yourself why is this in my garden? Did you choose to plant that there, or did someone else put it there?
This can be difficult, paying attention to something that is usually pushed aside, but you can slowly start choosing the things that you want to keep in your garden and removing the things that have been keeping you down. It is also important to keep planting positive plants, beautiful flowers, as the weeds you take out make space.
- Give yourself some love
Spending time in your emotions, bringing things closer to the surface, can be a painful experience. Being vulnerable is scary, which is why it’s important to build yourself up as you work through the things that hurt you. Self-love is something that we all need to work on. Simply giving yourself some compliments and treating yourself can help soften the experience of DIY therapy.
Note to self: You are so brave for trying this. You are strong for showing your weaknesses. You are beautiful with all of the baggage you carry. As you start to look at your life and the things that bring you down, remember to take your time and be gentle with yourself.
As you start shifting your perspective, you may find that it is time to invite someone new into the picture. You might discover some areas of life that need an outside perspective from a professional, and that is a healthy step to take. If you would like to seek some advice about how to take this step, you can reach out to us and we would love to get to know you and help you achieve your needs.
Written by Ella Taylor
WellBe is spearheading the way to a brighter future for corporate wellness. Our innovative portal is scientifically designed and tailored to each individual employee to improve their wellbeing. We specialise in a range of services from coaching and therapists, to meditation and reading materials. Our aim is to reduce workplace stress that costs UK businesses £42 billion per year. Get in touch with us by visiting our site wellbe.global for more information.
