Can You Find Love With Online Dating?

Online Dating in 2021


Optimistic data




You can be strategic about it



Goal misalignment

Susceptible to bias

Mismatched reality


Online Dating Psychology 101

  • Be authentic — presenting yourself in the most realistic light will save you a lot of trouble down the road. At least you’ll know that your future date will be going out with you for you and not for some fake persona that you made up to fish for likes.
  • Be transparent — this means being clear with both yourself and the people you meet on those apps. Decide on why you are online dating, then make sure that you communicate it unambiguously. If you are looking for a serious relationship, be clear about it early on.
  • Have a boundary — we already mentioned that online dating can be addictive, playing on the brain’s pleasure systems. There is nothing wrong with getting some feel-good hormones. Still, too much of them can lead to an actual addiction and subsequent unpleasant withdrawal symptoms. So, have some boundaries with how much you use dating platforms.
  • Work on your communication skills — effective communication is a skill that is rare nowadays but in high demand. By working on your communication skills, you’ll better express your needs and understand your match/date.
  • Keep it cool and patient — if you treat online dating as a marathon rather than a sprint, you might have a better experience with it. You could meet someone from the first swipe or after several months, so don’t rush. Also, keep your cool. The fewer expectations you build, the less chance for disappointment.
  • Do not disclose sensitive personal information.
  • Stay alert about questionable things like the other person asking you for money, graphic photos, sensitive personal info, or clicking on suspicious links.
  • Use different photos for your dating app and social media accounts to minimise the chance that someone will snoop around without your permission.
  • It might sound hypocritical after the previous point, but if you can, check up on the social media profiles of your matches to see if their story checks out. Still not a 100% guarantee, though.
  • If it comes to an actual date, set it up in a public place where you’ll feel safe. Better if you also tell someone about your date: where, when, and with whom you are meeting. Stay-safe tip: if you are in a bar, restaurant or a similar venue and you feel threatened, you can ask an employee for “Angela,” a code-word for when you feel in danger. “Ask for Angela’’ is a campaign to help women in vulnerable situations ask for help without exposing themselves. Read more about it here.



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