Success is a word that is often thrown around to praise someone for their position or achievements. People strive for success. But what does it truly mean to be “successful?”
When I say “red”, you will be thinking of a different shade to my version. The same as when I say, “success”, you will hold an alternative interpretation of the word based on your own values. Therefore, success in itself is subjective.
I was stuck in a 9–5 sales job where I saw no clear future. Despite my promotions, where I should have felt like a success, I was very unhappy. It frustrated me that I couldn’t share the same excitement my friends and colleagues had for me. I began to realise that we need to rethink how we view success.
How do we measure success?
Society and culture often map out your life, so you believe that your worth and success is dependent upon your wealth, status or education. One can feel like a failure if they haven’t got their dream job or were rejected from University. Similarly, sportspersons may feel less successful if they didn’t win a tournament after several gruelling hours of training. Yet in an interview with Usain Bolt — the eight-time sprint champion — he said he was unhappy with his record time of 10.12 seconds, despite winning the 100m race.
However, a person is not more successful being the CEO of a company if they are still longing for a family, the same as a binman isn’t any less successful than an athlete. What we can note is that these markers of success are arbitrary, because they ignore the strength of someone’s character and the positive influence they have in life.
Even fame is not a measure of someone’s success. Stars like Robin Williams and Marilyn Monroe were so depressed, despite their award-winning streaks, that they committed suicide. Unknown to the public eye until the truth was unveiled, but it was least expected.
The pursuit of happiness
So maybe then, success isn’t based on how much money you have, how many awards you’ve won or how many fans you have. The common theme seems to be that happiness is the true measure of success. I hear you saying “okay great, but how do we find that?”
In his book “Rethinking Success”, Douglas Holladay comments on the fact that often people’s achievements are the cause of their own depression and unhappiness. The constant pressure to be something and make sacrifices backfires — how ironic! He argues that instead, we need to find balance in work and life to be successful, which is rooted in 8 principles.
Essentially, goals are important to driving our behaviour; yet this doesn’t need to be rewarded by certificates or money. It is simply the pleasure that encompasses success. Therefore, it doesn’t matter if your salary is six figures or minimum wage — as long as you are happy with what you are doing.
Stop comparing yourself to others
I am notoriously guilty for comparing my achievements to others and feeling less successful. Despite this, whenever I did pass certain milestones in my life, such as completing my degree, starting my first job or passing my driving test, I still wasn’t happy or content. To me, it didn’t seem to be enough, and I was just waiting for the next hurdle to jump over. Luckily, I have found purpose in what I do and genuinely enjoy it — of course, I’m still praying for the day I can fly the nest! But when I compare my life between now and six months ago, I am much happier. So I think that’s a success!
In summary, if you’re worried that you’re not successful, only you can be the judge of that. If you’re still not where you want to be yet, then be patient. It is no good comparing your achievements to others or being envious, because that will only downgrade your own accomplishments and make you feel unhappy. You are your own success story!
Written by Naida Allen
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