Are you looking for more love in your life? Congratulations, you’re human! The need for love and intimacy is innate in all of us, but sometimes it can be difficult to know just how to get it. Don’t worry; try using these 10 tips to draw that much needed love into your life.
1. Nurture the love that you already have
When we feel like we are lacking love in our lives, it is often an instinct to look for new sources of it. However, often this can leave us exhausted and disappointed, whether it be from a string of failed first dates or an unsuccessful attempt at making a new friend. What we should be doing when we want more love in our lives is to nurture the love that we already have.
It can be easy to forget that we have people who love and care for us already in our lives, but with just a little extra effort that love can grow. Make plans with your family, reconnect with friends you haven’t seen in a while; even an extra phone call a week can greatly increase the love you feel from those around you.
2. Be kind
Now this tip might seem glaringly obvious but it has to be said. Kindness attracts people to you and makes them want to stay. However, your kindness isn’t just good for others; it will improve your own life too. By being kinder to others, you will learn to love yourself, and this quality will attract love on the truest level — not only from others but from yourself.
3. Stop sabotaging yourself
We often talk about self-sabotage in the context of romantic relationships, but the same can apply to platonic ones too. So why do people self-sabotage when it comes to love? There are many reasons, but it all seems to boil down to a lack of trust in other people and a belief that oneself is not deserving of love.
If you want more love in your life, you’re going to have to resolve these issues so that you stop sabotaging every opportunity you have to get it. Look inward and assess your reasons for self-sabotage so that you can work through them. Perhaps consider doing this in therapy or with the help of a mental health professional if necessary.
4. Give love freely
Think of it like karma; you get what you give. So if you want more love, you’re going to have to give more first. It can feel a bit awkward initially, but remember that people love to be loved. So if you feel love for someone, tell them. Be open and honest with your love and it will find its way back to you.
However, be wary; if you are in a situation where you keep giving love and getting none back, it may be time to rethink. This kind of one-sided relationship can be draining, whether it is platonic, romantic, or familial, it can leave you feeling unloved. This takes us to our next point.
5. Invest in those who make you feel loved
Stop wasting time and effort on people who do not give you the love that you deserve. Instead, invest your energy into the relationships that make you feel valued and fulfilled. Spending energy on toxic relationships won’t bring more love into your life; in fact, it’ll probably leave you feeling less loved than you would without it.
Evaluate who in your life actually cares for you and lets you know. These are the people you should be spending time with and the relationships that you should be investing in. It is to these people that you can give your love and have it returned tenfold.
6. Say ‘yes’
To get more love, you need to actually be open to receiving it. This means putting yourself out there and making yourself available to both new and old sources of love. If a friend wants to make plans, don’t make an excuse not to. If you’re asked on a date, don’t succumb to the fear and turn it down.
It may feel scary, but opening yourself up to new opportunities and people is a proactive way to gain more love in your life. Be confident; when people ask you to spend time with them, it’s because they want to spend time with you. Why not let them?
However, as with the earlier points, you don’t have to say ‘yes’ in situations that make you feel unloved or even unsafe. This advice is useful only if your reason for wanting to say ‘no’ is simple nerves or a lack of confidence. Saying ‘no’ if you truly want to is a valid option and it is your right to do so if you wish.
7. Ask yourself what you really want
If you’re looking for more love in your life, first ask yourself why. Of course, wanting more love is never a bad thing, but you need to remember that it can’t fix everything. For example, people who have just come out of a relationship may try to jump straight into another in hopes that this replacement will heal their pain. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that.
Sometimes, you need to re-evaluate and look at healing before you are ready for love. Do this and you will find that in the future, it will be easier to give and get love, not only from others but from yourself too.
8. Be realistic
If you go out looking for the kind of love you see in movies, prepare to be disappointed. Sometimes we can be blind to the love that is actually around us because it doesn’t feel how we think it should. So stop chasing unrealistic ideals of love and learn to appreciate the real versions that are around you. Accepting this isn’t ‘settling’, but rather allowing yourself to stop pursuing perfection. Because, spoiler alert, it doesn’t exist.
9. Be less superficial
When looking for love, make sure you’re looking in the right places and for the right reasons. If you want to become friends with someone just because they’re popular rather than for their personality, you probably won’t end up with a fulfilling relationship that brings love to your life.
You have to look deeper to form real bonds. Don’t get so caught up with status or image, but look to connect with like-minded people with whom you can have a natural rapport. These will be the kind of relationships that you don’t have to force and the ones that bring the most love into your life.
10. Learn to love yourself
You are the one thing that you can control. Therefore, if you feel like your life is lacking love, why not make your own? By learning to love yourself you ensure that you will never be without love.
When I say to ‘love yourself’, I don’t mean so in an arrogant or conceited way. Loving yourself doesn’t mean that you believe you have no flaws or can do no wrong. In fact, if you really love yourself, you will be able to hold yourself accountable for your mistakes. Love yourself like you love the people around you; treat yourself with compassion and have your best interests at heart.
The best part is that when you love yourself, you attract others with your confidence and positivity. This will bring even more love into your life, so loving yourself really is a win-win, and the most effective way to get more love in your life.
Written by Adena Dewar
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